How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I pour the whiskey from now on
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
