Soap is not a condiment
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
