hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
