Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
