I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
