I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
