i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
