The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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