i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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