I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
