If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
