dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
