Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You made out with two different species that night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
