I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
