I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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