I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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