Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
