Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
