Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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