good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
