it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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