everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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