cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
