I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
