it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
