You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
