how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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