the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
