Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
