My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
