Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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