I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I believe in your delicious
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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