your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
