we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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