wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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