What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
