just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
