I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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