? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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