Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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