I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
