Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
