I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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