I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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