I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
