You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
