pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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