it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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