It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
