i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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