I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I booty called her while she was in labor.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
