but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
