Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
